The New Kryptonite is Lois Lane
by Unicornpug
Summary: Pick up lines from the Man of Steel himself! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! ClarkXLois


**AUTHOR'S NOTE: READ AND REVIEW, PEOPLE! :) HOW HARD IS IT TO REVIEW? :)) JUST PUT A SMILEY, IT WOULD DO. :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SMALLVILLE.**

**CHAPTER ONE**

**BY: IRONCOW**

Clark: Do you have heat vision, too? Because you can melt my heart with just a look.

Lois: You have heat vision? That is news worthy!

Clark: No, Lois. I was trying to hit on you…

Lois: Oh. Maybe next time…

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: You must be made of kryptonite, because being around you makes my knees weak.

Lois: What the hell is a kryptonite?

Clark: You don't know? It's this kind of rock from my planet, Krypton… Its substance is harmful…

Lois. Dork.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: I can fly anywhere in the solar system, but only you can take me to heaven.

Lois: So, you want to die now? –HOLDS UP FIST-

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: I think your clothes are made of kryptonite; we've got to get rid of them immediately!

Lois: What's a kryptonite?

Clark: Didn't you listen when I told you about it? It was my second pick up line.

Lois: No. –CLARK EXPLAINS WHAT A KRYPTONITE IS- You're a pervert!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: Hey, baby, want to come to my fortress of solitude?

Lois: Where's that?

Clark: Come with me.

Lois: I have to ask the General first. You, come with me.

Clark: Do you hear that? There's a fire in Metropolis! Duty calls! –SPEEDS OFF-

Lois: Chicken!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: I can see anything within miles of here, but there's nothing I'd rather look at than you.

Lois: While you're busy looking at me, someone is in danger. Look at the window.

Clark: What? –LOOKS OUTSIDE- Oh! Hang in there! Help is coming!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: You know, I once lifted a whole rocket into the orbit. Want to find out how high I can take you?

Lois: You want to get rid of me by throwing me into the universe?

Clark: No. I just want to show you how strong I am.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: Excuse me, I'm from another planet. Can you teach me about body parts and human anatomy?

Lois: Gladly! This here is my fist. If you don't leave now, I'd be glad to show you how it works for self defense!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: You know, I can hold my breath for 20 minutes…

Lois: And that's supposed to impress me how?

Clark: If we were to kiss, we could never stop. –SMILES EVILLY-

Lois: Did you ever think that I couldn't breathe that long?

Clark: We could take breaks…

Lois: Heartless Bastard.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: You know, if I hold someone really close, they become invulnerable. Want to find out if I can transfer any other powers?

Lois: Your breath stinks.

Clark: That's because I ate a plate of spaghetti awhile ago, with cheese, garlic, and tomato.

Lois: Really? Buy me one!

Clark: Okay, fine.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: They call me the Man of Steel. Well, at least parts of me are anyways.

Lois: You're disgusting, Clark!

Clark: I was talking about my fingers! Look!

Lois: No thanks!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: They say I can do just about anything, but I wish I had the powers to look that good!

Lois: Good. At least you're honest about how you look. 'Coz you look pretty ugly.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: My aura can make anything invulnerable as long as I keep it really close.

Lois: Then stay close to Mrs. Smith. She's pretty old and gassy.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: As the last survivor of Krypton, I have a duty to make sure my race doesn't end with me.

Lois: I am flattered, Clark.

Clark: Really?

Lois: Of course not, Pig!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: Want to go see the wonders of the world?

Lois: You have a plane ticket?

Clark: No… I was planning to fly.

Lois: You can fly?

Clark: Not yet, but…

Lois: Well, tell that to me if you already know how to fly.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: As it happens, the suit does come off.

Lois: Don't you think the cape is a little too much?

Clark: But it's cool.

Lois: And is that tights you're wearing?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: Want to see the reason why they call me the Man of Steel?

Lois: Because you're hard-headed and really annoying?

Clark: No! That's not true!

Lois: You sound like a girl!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: Ever wanted to see Metropolis from the air?

Lois: No.

Clark: Why?

Lois: Because it's been raining for weeks.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: They say I'm faster than a speeding bullet. Want to find out?

Lois: Okay, sure. Just wait for me to find my gun… There it is!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: Did I hit you with my heat vision?

Lois: Because I'm on fire?

Clark: How did you know?

Lois: I've heard that one before.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: I could be anywhere on the planet 30 seconds from now… Want to come along for the ride?

Lois: Can't I take your dog instead?

Clark: Nope. You can only be with me.

Lois: In that case, have fun with the ride by yourself!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: I've flown right up to the surface of the sun, but that doesn't compare to what I felt when I first looked at you.

Lois: What did you feel?

Clark: Very hot.

Lois: -THROWS A CUP OF WATER ON CLARK-

Clark: Why did you do that?

Lois: Because you said it was hot.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: It's a good thing I've got freeze breath. Because you look dangerously hot!

Lois: You want to turn me into a popsicle?

Clark: No. It was a pick up line!

Lois: It's not working.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Clark: Lois, do you love me?

Lois: Is that another pick up line?

Clark: No. It's a serious question.

Lois: Yes. I love you.

Clark: Then why do you keep blowing me off? Don't you want me?

Lois: I want you. I just thought your pick up lines are cute. Do you have more?

Clark: Well, no. I ran out.

Lois: Just kiss me already!

**READ AND REVIEW! THANK YOU!**

**-IRONCOW**


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